Fun Fact

You may have noticed that I don't have any real pictures of myself on here. It's not out of a desire for anonymity or because I'm a secret spy. I just do not react well to cameras. At all. The minute someone points a camera at me, my eyes squint shut, my mouth drops open into a strange attempt at smiling, and I don't know what to do with my hands. I look like a fish that is trying to imitate a happy human. A fish with confused hands. Anyway, this reaction occurs with alarming potency when I attempt a self portrait. It is not pretty guys.

To fix this girl-without-a-face-problem my blog has, I've enlisted the help of a photographer friend. Hopefully she can coax out of me an emotion other than panic when we do this photoshoot. If not, I think I'll just pretend I look strikingly like Kate Middleton and put pics of her on this ole blog. Just imagine the Duchess saying the things I write. Hmmm, I might do this anyway. It sounds amazing. But then again, I don't want to draw the anger of the Queen. And that's a handy personal motto for daily living.

Tuesday Tunesday #2

One of my favorite pastimes in high school was spending hours at the library. Yep. Hanging out among the books was my idea of a good time. Still is. It was there in the av section that I discovered an album called "The Ghost of Fashion" by a group I'd never heard of, Clem Snide. It was love at first listen. Their Elvis reference in the second track stole my heart and kept it. (For those of you who don't know, I love all things Elvis. I even have a bust of Elvis that looks like it was crafted by an overachieving art student in the 90's. Don't worry, I'm sure he'll make an appearance on here soon enough.)

During my 4 years of high school this was my favorite band and my go to music to fit every angsty teenage mood. Listening to it now brings back a flood of memories that make me feel like I'm 17 again. Thankfully, I now have a better handle on my emotions and, almost as importantly, my eyebrow tweezing.

Now that I've shared, it's your turn to tell me the songs that transport you back to high school. The more embarrassing the better!

I Just Cannot

Today's regularly scheduled post has been abandoned. My favorite etsy stores hardly seem relevant after this week we have had politically.

Todd Akin reminded us all that he is an absolute moron when he shared his "expertise" about rape by saying, "If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down." Then he went on to say he meant "forcible rape." You know, instead of kind and gentle rape. This man serves on the House Science Committee. This man serves on the House Science Committee! He actively legislates based on these backward and dangerous views! But, get this, he heard this nugget of bullshit from a doctor. Seriously. A doctor.

Dr. John C. Willke is a retired obstetrician and holds the view that women are unlikely to become pregnant by "forcible rape." He clarified this view in an interview with the New York Times where he said, "This is a traumatic thing -- she's, shall we say, she's uptight," Willke told the Times. "She is frightened, tight, and so on. And sperm, if deposited in her vagina, are less likely to be able to fertilize. The tubes are spastic." Yep. The tubes are spastic. Many people disagree with this theory because, well, because it is not true. Science does not agree with this theory.

Mitt Romney made a big show of distancing himself from Akin and Willke's statements and condemning them. Romney even called for Akin to drop out of the race. "Today, his fellow Missourians urged him to step aside, and I think he should accept their counsel and exit the Senate race.” But Romney seems to be forgetting that his running mate Paul Ryan holds views nearly identical to Akin.

Paul Ryan co-sponsored with Todd Akin the Sanctity of Human Life Act, which would give legal rights to fertilized eggs from the moment of conception. That means rape victims would be forced by the government to carry their rapist's baby against their will. Last year, Ryan co-sponsored a bill with dozens of other House members to ban federal funding for abortion. The No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act originally allowed exceptions only for "forcible rape," the same language Akin used. This disqualified victims with developmental disabilities, victims that were drugged and then raped, and victims that were underage and raped by full grown men. Because a 12 year old impregnated by a 45 year old should be left to deal with this on her own.

This article from Jezebel perfectly captures my feelings at the moment. I need a break from the world; or at the very least a break from the internet.

I'll see you on Monday.

24 Before 25

Birthday Fun!

I am a dreamer. Forever and always, nothing will change that. But this year my goal is to become more of a do-er. I know exactly the kind of life I want. One I can look back on and see adventures and wonderful mistakes that changed everything. One that leaves me with a flood of memories triggered by a song or a smell that completely overtake me. One that I stop putting off for fear of missed opportunities. It's been 4 months since I've made this list. I still have so many exciting things to do!

Here are the 24 things I plan to do and experience before I turn 25

1. Learn to play the harmonica. Specifically play with my super musically talented friends .
2. Go skinny dipping So. Much. Fun.
3. Get my nose pierced. Again.
4. Ride my bike more. In actual traffic, not just in Leave it to Beaver style idyllic neighborhoods.
5. Be prepared for winter. I've lived in this state practically all my life but I still am surprised when it snows and I have nothing to wear. 
6.  Spend at least a month eating a vegan diet. 
7. Learn how to screenprint. Make the t-shirts my angsty 16 year old self would have loved.
8. Go on more aimless walks. I'm sure my pup will enjoy this one.
9. Get a pinata all for myself. See above. It was glorious.
10. Buy a record player. Just another perk of living with Mr. Handsome.
11. Get new glasses. Vow not to fall asleep wearing them. I am in LOVE with my new Lookmatic frames
12. Commission artwork.
13. Throw a fondue party. 70's clothing and shag rugs optional. 
14. Take 10 bubble baths. I like setting relaxing goals. 
15. Ride a mechanical bull. Bonus points if I break any mechanical bull riding records. 
16. Learn to make a killer mixed drink. My stint as a bartender left me more than qualified.
17. Go to a drive in movie. I went to two sit-in picnic style movies that I'm counting.
18. Beat my boyfriend in a game of boggle. Good thing my goal wasn't to gloat.
19. Actually make a craft that I've pinned.
20. Paint my entire apartment. 
21. Go back to college.
22. Make the jump to being heavily tattooed.
23. Eat 5 foods I've never tried before.
24. Let the people who are most important to me know how much I love them.

   24b. Live it up.

Tuesday Tunesday #1

I think the last few lazy, hazy days of summer are here. At night the air is getting chilly and crisp; it's perfect cuddling weather. This is the music I put on quietly while I'm slipping off to sleep and ready to dream of fall days coming soon. The last song has a few f-bombs so skip that one if you're at work or have delicate ears.

Missing The Old Roommates

A year ago I had the pleasure of living with 3 amazing fellas. We were a dream team for 12 glorious months. Toward the end of our lease, I got inspired to do something to celebrate our happy home. I planned a whole week dedicated to hanging out with each other and being awesome together. One day was set aside for hard core Olympic style competition. The events were amazing. There was a no hands nacho and cheese eating contest, an impressively focused game of hot potato yam, the life threatening chubby bunny, and a water relay that stopped traffic. The most hilarious event was a game that required us to put on socks. The catch was that we would be blindfolded and wearing gloves. I want you to go right now and try to do that. Harder than it sounds, right?

We sat, blindfolded and gloved, in a circle with a pile of socks and other decoy items piled in front of us. On the count of three we started frantically grabbing, flailing, and pushing for the footwear. My pointy elbows gave me an advantage here. But then we had to put them on our feet. Some of us were better at this than others. I couldn't even figure out which end of the sock had the opening. Needless to say, I didn't win. I managed to put on two socks while my coordinated roommates donned at least 6. All while I tried to sabotage them and hide the socks in my shirt. Because I'm a sore loser.

Don't get me wrong, I love living with my man Mr. Handsome and our dog. But sometimes I really miss my boys. 1477 for life.

Call Me Nadine

I found the most amazing curtains at the thrift store yesterday. They're floral print and the predominant colors are turquoise, blue, and the most perfect 1970's avocado green. Of course it was love at first sight. I put them up immediately only to discover that they squeak sooooo loudly when you pull them open. Cue the music.

All I need is the eye-patch and to stock up on cotton balls.

  P.S. For those of you that have no idea what I'm talking about, watch Twin Peaks asap. It's a David Lynch masterpiece. Everyone leads a secret double life,  there's a character called Log Lady, and teen /small town angst, mystery, and donuts appear in each episode. It is pure magic.